There is a danish song saying: "Vi er ikke rigtig voksne, vi er ikke rigtig børn" (TRANSLATED: We are no real adults, we are no real kids) And that is so true. I don't really know where I belong anymore.
To be honest, nothing really changed. Not in me and not around me. It is all the same, I feel the same. It is only on the paper it says I'm an adult now. I can legally buy all alcohol, I can get a driving license, I can go to clubs - ect. All in all can I do whatever I want without needing my parents agreement.
But then today, I was going to check in on my bank-account, because I've just been payed. Before My account was under my dads name, but not anymore - I'm my own person now.
The song continues: "We are to young to lve, but too old for fighting [our siblings]" and that is how I feel right now. So end of the story with the bank is, we don't really now where my money went, so we called the bank and I'm going to a meeting tomorrow (in the bank!) to actually get my own accoount and be a "real individual, independent person" now.
I do feel old enough to drink and go to the club, but can I really be old enough to go to a meeting in a bank? What the heck do I wear? I'm not old enough to really wear a suit - or am I? But yet it feels wrong to just go in there in a logo tee and trainers.
I'm also starting my life as a "real" woman on the couch with fever, a REALLY sore throat, headache and a body that is so weak that everything hurts. It sucks. I do everything I can to feel better, but the fever won't slow down and I'm burning hot ( ;-) ). It's only here this morning I feel good enough to write something - I did actually have an outfit planned for you today, but I just had to get all of this off my chest, i guess.
But today is also a sad day. I was meant to go to Copenhagen with my german class, visit the German embassy and in the evening watch a theater play. I still have a few more hours to get better and catch the train. And I really want to. But I have been alive for 18 years, and do by now know, that I want to do everything and therefore not let myself get better before leaving the bed. And I know, if I really have to admit it: if I walk around Copenhagen from 1pm to 1am, it will help my body heal or get better. I will most likely be too tired the next day to even wake up, because my body is back at square one - which is hell! Yesterday was a nightmare for my well-being and health and body!
Having had yesterday - and now also today - at home, also gives me lots of time. I'm too ill and having a too big headache to even focus on homework - even too big to scroll through Instagram for more than a few minutes (I know, that is the real struggle). But it gives me so much time to look at all my wonderful presents from my birthday. People really spoiled me this year, and I fel so loved, lucky and grateful for al of it. I had never in my dreams imagined I would get so much stuff, its absolutely crazy and unreal to me.
Maybe if my throat is getting better at some point today, I will film "What I got for my birthday" Who does even know what the adult life will bring?
Luckily - for me - I'm so in love with the story about Peter Pan and Tinkebell, that I will forever hold on to the "never grow up"-quote and always have a child inside me - and then just try to be adult at bank meetings!
Thank you for reading along!
Until next time,
x Sofie
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