Tuesday, 13 June 2017

FEARLESS - In this moment

When I was 13 years old this quote meant the world to me. It still does, but in a different way...

...So when I was in 7 grade I had my first (and maybe the worst?) down time in my life. I started in a new class with people I did not know and it stressed me so much and I was completely out of my comfort zone. I turned to music and Taylor Swift became my saving. I would not say that she saved my life, because I was never that sad, that I would do something extreme. I was just sad and she cheered me up, I felt like she understood me with songs like Fifteen, A place in this world, Mean, Tied together with a smile ect. I don't know why I turned to Taylor Swift. I mean I've loved her music as long as I can remember, but it was like they made sense to me during that time of my life.

Her quote from "Fearless" became everything i lived after. I needed to be fearless, and I was fearless because of her music and that I everyday woke up and went to school even though I hated it at that time. But I did it. And then she announced her 4th album Red, and I was on fire. Everyday I woke up knowing I was one day closer to new music from her. That is why Red is my favourite album, I have so many happy memories connected to the songs of that album, because these songs, was when life turned from bad to good again.
I feel like it is crazy to write this because it's so long ago, and I also think it's a little crazy to be this connected to music.. But let me continue:

And when I began enjoying school, my class and life again I knew I was fearless because I did it. I listened to her nonstop for a year. Then I met Troels. And I was so scared of love and my feelings, but actually this quote made me jump right into it, and it turned out to be the best thing I've ever done. I'm still together with him 3 and a half year later and we are happy and in love. So as Taylor says it: Our love is fearless. Fearless because we jumped into it even though we both have been hurt before, fearless because we tried again when we both had hurt each other.

Then T was away one year for bording school, and I was left alone, and again Taylor's music helped me. Now it was just songs as Superstar, Superman, come back be here and Untouchable that played from my phone at night when I could not sleep.
This we also got through and again proved how fearless I was and we both were.

Then I started high school and I didn't listen to Taylor at all (almost). I don't know why. But my new life didn't really welcome her (this was of course stupid because I did not have to change me or my music taste to fit in) The only song I remember having heard in my high school time is "mean" as there was a time I felt left out and maybe a little bit bullied or on the outside.
 I was stressed, so stressed I almost forgot her, even though I think this was the time in my life I needed to be fearless the most. I just didn't realize.

Until now. Last week I looked through all my old stuff and found my concert tickets, posters, t-shirts, all the drawing I've drawn of her. I found all my old Taylor Swift fangirl stuff. And I was taken back to the good old days when Taylor cheered me up. I listened to all the albums and fell in love all over again.

In the song Fearless she sings: "In this moment now, capture it, remember it" and I found a new meaning in those words, 2 and a half year after not hearing them. Now I'm fearless for trying to live in the moment, trying not to stress out so much, trying not to think too much about things I can't decide or have an impact on, trying not to stress about the future - trying just to be me, right here right now. Not changing for anyone or anything.

I know a lot af people doesn't like Taylor Swift for many reasons. But just take this one sentence: "In this moment now, capture it, remember it" Because I think it says a lot about how you should live your life. Not being scared, not being stressed, just being you.
Think about it.

Until next time,
x Sofie

Dansk:
... Da jeg var i 7. klasse havde jeg min første nedtur (og måske den værste?) i mit liv. Jeg startede i en ny klasse og kendte ingen og det stressede mig, og jeg var helt ude af min komfortzone. Jeg vendte mig til musikken og Taylor Swift reddede mig. Jeg vil ikke gå så langt som at sige at hun reddede mit liv, for jeg var aldrig så langt ude, så ked af det, at jeg ville gøre noget ekstremt. Jeg var bae ked af det og hun hjalp mig op, jeg følte hun forstod mig med sange som Fifteen,A place in this world, Mean, Tied together with a smile osv. Jeg ved ikke hvorfor det lige var Taylor. Altså jeg har elsket hendes musik så længe jeg kan huske, men de gav ligesom først mening for mig der.

Citatet fra Fearless, betød alt for mig, jeg levede efter det. Jeg var nødt til at være fearless på frund af hendes musik og jeg stod op af samme grund og var frygtløs fordi jeg hver dag kom ud af sengen og i skole selvom jeg hadede det. Men ejg gjorde det. Så kom det frem at hendes 4. album kom ud, og jeg var så klar! Hver dag stod jeg op, velvidende jeg var en dag tættere på ny musik. Det er også derfor Red er mit yndlings album fra hende. Der er så mange gode minder knyttet til det album. Det var nemlig da hendes album udkom at mit liv vendte fra trist til godt igen.
Jeg føler mig lidt skør ved at tænke tilbage på det, og for at være så forbundet til noget musik. Men lad mig fortsætte;

Og da jeg begyndte at kunne lide skolen og livet igen, vidste jeg at jeg var frygtløs fordi jeg gjorde det. Jeg lyttede til hendes musik nonstop i et år. Så mødte jeg Troels. Og jeg var så bange for kærligheden og for mine følelser for ham, men jeg tænkte på det at være frygtløs og hoppede ud i det - og heldigvis for det! Nu har jeg været sammen med ham i tre et halvt år og vi er stadig sammen og forelskede. Så, som Taylor siger det: Kærligheden er frygtløs. Vores kærlighed er frygtløs. Frygtløs fordi vi hoppede ud i det, selvom vi var blevet såret før, frygtløs fordi vi prøvede igen selvom vi sårede hinanden. 

Så tog Troels på efterskole i et år og jeg var alene. Og igen gik jeg til Taylor, og hun hjalp. Nu var det bare sange som Superstar, Superman, Come back be here og Untouchable der spillede fra min telefon når jeg ikke kunne sove.
Dette kom vi også igennem og beviste igen at vi var frygtløse. Både mig selv, ham og os var frygtløse på hver vores måde.

Så startede vi i gymnaise og jeg lyttede ikke til Taylor overhovedet (næsten). Jeg ved ikke hvorfor. Men mit nye liv bød hende ikke rigtig velkommen (Det var selvfølgelig lidt dumt tænkt, for jeg behøvede jo ikek forandre mig eller min musik smag for at passe ind i gymnasiet). Den eneste sang jeg kan huske at have hørt er Mean fordi der var en periode jeg følte mig udenfor og ekskluderet fra det hele, selv dem jeg troede var mine venner, jeg var bare lidt på sidelinjen (det har vist sig også at være pjat)
Jeg var stresset, så stresset jeg næste glemte Taylor, selvom jeg nok havde brug for at være frygtløs lige her i mit liv. Jeg indså det bare ikke.

Indtil nu! Sidste uge kiggede jeg alle mine gamle ting igennem og fandt mine gamle koncert billetter, plakater, t-shirts, tegninger osv. jeg havde lavet som yngre med Taylor Swift. Jeg var taget tilbage i tiden, dengang Taylor opmuntrede mig og gjorde mig frygtløs. Jeg lyttede til albumsne igen og forelskede mig på ny.

I sangen Fearless synger hun: "In this moment now, capture it, remember it"og jeg fandt en hel ny mening i disse ord efter 2 år uden at høre dem. Nu er jeg frygtløs fordi jeg prøver at live i nuet, prøver ikke at stresse så meget, prøver ikke at tænke for meget over tink jeg ikke har indflydelse på eller ikke kan bestemme, prøver ikke at stresse over fremtiden - prøver at bare være mig, lige her, lige nu. Ikke noget med at ændre sig for andre eller andet.

Jeg ved mange ikke bryder sig om Taylor Swift af mange grunde. Men bare tag sætningen "In this moment now, capture it, remember it" til dig, fordi den siger meget om hvordan alle burde leve sit liv. Ikke være bange, ikke være stresset, bare være dig.
Tænk over det.

Indtil næste gang,
Kram Sofie


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